The Dustmen

“If everyone is dead then why don’t I remember dying?”
- A clueless sod to a Dustman

“If we’re all alive then why don’t I remember being born?”
- The Dustman’s response

To Die, Perchance to Dream

A more morbid philosophy you’ll not find this side of the Grey Waste, cutter. The Dustmen believe that the inhabitants of the Multiverse are already dead. Some are more dead than others, perhaps, but even the living are actually dead. “If this existence was whole the point of life, then someone’s got their sums wrong”, as Qaida once said. Some Dustmen reckon that this stage of the great cycle — that which most cutters view as ‘life’ — is in fact a low point. Maybe that’s why they’re so sodding miserable all the time.
Presumably, after a body passes through this particular phase it’ll emerge into “life”, as the Dustmen would understand it. “So why don’t the Dead just up and hang themselves from the leafless tree”, you might well be asking, “It’s not like we’ll miss the depressing sods”.

Well, the Dustmen would take issue with this. You can’t just put yourself in the Dead-Book or let someone else do it for you; that’s like trying to cheat the Multiverse. No, you’ve got to live your “life” and die naturally, or you’ll be recycled and made to do it all again. And as for them being depressing; that’s the Dustmen trying to move themselves closer to the state of True Death (as they call it) by shedding their emotions, the last semblance of life.

And if you’ve ever had to share a drink with one of the Dead, you’ll know full well just how good at it they can be…

Factol: Skall (m/lich/Wiz?/NE/The Dustman/Factol)
Sigil HQ: The Mortuary (Hive Ward)
*Home Plane:
Negative Energy Plane
Allies: Bleak Cabal, Doomguard
Enemies: Society of Sensation, Sign of One

Dead Truce [Namer] (Su): No mindless undead will attack a Dustman, unless magically commanded to do so. They are released from the pact if the Dustman ever willfully attacks them or aids those who are fighting them. Free-willed undead, such as vampires, have their reactions shifted one step towards friendly.

Craving for Death [Namer] (Su): The Dustmen have fairly dim views on resurrection; as such, when a Dustman dies, there’s only a 50% chance that’s it’s even possible to raise or reincarnate him. Failure means that his soul has gone on to the True Death.

Undead Rapport [Factotum] (Su): No undead will attack a Dustman, unless magically commanded to do so. They are released from the pact if the Dustman ever willfully attacks them or aids those who are fighting them. At this point a Dustman must also forgo all magical healing.

Know Death [Factor] (Sp): Dustmen factors have the ability to see the health of creatures around them at a glance, as per a permanent deathwatch spell.

The Dustmen

A Hitchhicker's Guide to the Planes mrtim